Hey guys. So I just had my first anniversary with my wife Anastasia and I wrote her this song but I wanted to give it a little extra oomph. So I called up some musician friends of mine and they helped me rock it out So here it is, babe, its for you. And I hope the rest of you enjoy it.
But mainly its for my wife. Every guy could use a girl like Anastasia You couldnt find a greater lady if I payed ya. Girl, youre the top of the line, Ill never need to upgrade ya I was drowning and you threw me a lifesaver Our first date was a bit of a disaster I was convinced she thought that I was a dumb bastard. I said I'll show you the coolest places in NYC We walked around for hours aimlessly.
Finally we decided to go eat Mexican. My stomach started acting up again. I had to go to the can, so I said goodbye and ran Anastasia Ill do anything to please her. Anastasia Holy crap, Im jammin with Weezer! Anastasia She gives me lovin in 3D.
Hey Mark, stop tryin to sing like me! Im sorry I decided to propose to her on Christmas Eve. She told me in the morning that she would be home by three. So I wrapped myself up in a box as a present. The box was very hot and unpleasant I looked at my watch and saw that it was three thirty Im gettin sweaty, this is stupid Where the hell is she? I was stuck in that box for over an hour I looked like I had taken a shower.
By the time she got home I was just a pathetic mess Guess I put her love to the test. Even though I was sweaty and messy she still said yes She said yes! Anastasia She enjoys my stupidity Anastasia She gets migranes from the humidity Anastasia Will love me when Im bald and fat. And she is a wonderful mother to our retarded cats. So I wanna really give a big thanks to Weezer for helping me do that.
They were super-cool guys, it was a dream come true. And Weezer has always been a big band that my wife and I both love, so I hope you enjoyed it, Stasia! I love you..
Hey what's up guys? Welcome to today's video! So...I have a super exciting video for you guys today! If you've followed me for a long time, you know that I love cream contour. I love working with it; I always have. It was the first kind of contour I learned how to do. And I haven't had good cream products for ages.
And of course, if you're gonna have any kind of contour products, they're obviously going to have to be from... Anastasia Beverly Hiiiiiiiills!!! This is expensive as shit. So that's why it's taken me so long to finally, like...Take the plunge. Go for it.
Swipe the card! I am pretty damn sure it's worth it. But I still wanted to do my first impressions for you guys. So that's what I'm here with today. I have done my base already.
Whoo hoo hoo! So let's get cookin'. With the contouring!!!! Oh ohooo! So I obviously got it in the lightest color called 'Fair'. And it has these shades in it. *Packaging noise and satisfied sigh* Let's just get cookin.
I'm gonna use one brush from RealTechniques. It's a sculpting brush. And another brush from Sephora I think...Yeah Sephora. Use whatever brushes you want.
But this is not a tutorial! This is a first impressions. Okay! Let's just...Let's just do this!! Let's go in with a kind of light color to start with. Oooooh Very nice. For me, the true test of a contour product is how well it contours my nose.
Because I do contour my nose everytime I do my makeup. And that's what I cannot Do with like dry contour like powder and shit. Umm so we will see how I feel about... The cream contour from Anastasia Beverly Hills when it comes to nose contours.
So far... No complaints. I'm now using the lightest contour color. Which is definitely dark enough I mean I'm not much for natural contour.
I kind of prefer too much contour And a lot of people say I'm anti-the light! *Chuckle* Umm but you know. You should always do what makes you feel good. Not what makes other people feel good. You know? Let's do some jawline as well.
It's very sharp right now, I am aware. Okay, let;'s just do the nose! Okay. I'll go with a lighter color. Usually I go with a really dark color.
But I don't need it, I just need a shade. *Dramatic music* Huh! I LOVE THIS!! So excited Ooh, let's dig in to one of the lighter colors as well and highlight the nose a little bit. Now I'm just gonna go in with... What brush was I just using? I'll go in with some on the highlight of this palette.
I don't know if I dare to use...This. What is it even? Highlight? Huh, maybe this is cream highlight. Looks kind of like it. I don't know.
Let's just try. A problem with cream products in general is that they Kind of get...Dirty? In a way that dry products don't. Like crap from the brush can make it look dirty. So it's...I think it's a little bit difficult to keep it looking fresh and clean But you know.
It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Yup, this is some kind of illuminating... Luster! It says. A luster, right here.
Yup. Let's just do some darker contour. Just because this is a contour video. And we really want to test out all the shades.
Oooh Now that's what I call...Contour! Let's just set this and have a little chit chat! I When uh...When it's done. I'm just gonna set it with some powder from the makeup store. So there So for me, the biggest difference between working with cream and working with pressed powder, basically. Is that when I work with cream contour, I set afterwards Even though it's a translucent powder.
It kind of dampens down the contour a lot. So I tend to do uh, very heavy cream contour. Like very dark. Because when I apply the translucent powder on top, it's gonna soften everything down.
As you can see now you can barely see the contour at all. Umm...Which is a good thing. But also if you want more contour you could always go over it with dry contour products as well which I probably would have done in this case. I would have gone in with dry contour just to darken it up a little bit.
Warm up the face so it doesn't look as much one color. But this is perfect for like a Natural Look!! And I absolutely love the nose contour. I think it turned out perfect. Umm...Very natural.
Can barely see it but it's till there Which is kind of like uh... I just like that it's there. *Small laugh* So...What I think of this is absolutely 10/10. It's as good as people say it is.
The hype is *click* true. Or the hype is real. The hype is correct. I don't even know.
Umm but I absolutely love this, I'm so glad I bought it. Definitely worth the money if you ask me. Umm it's an investment. This will last you a very long time.
So... Yeah so thank you guys for watching! The Swedish word of the day is... Shimmer. The Swedish word for swimmer is Skimmer Don't forget to subscribe.
Check out the links below to keep up to date on everything that I do! *Indiscernible* Super Duper guys! I'll see you later..
Hey guys welcome back, thanks for stopping by today We are going to be comparing honest hacia Beverly Hills brow products to benefit brow products I'm going to be testing the pomade and the brow is from Anastasia and I'm going to be comparing them to the cup route and The precisely my brow pencil from benefit So if you want to see this video go ahead and keep on watching Today's subscriber shoutout goes to Kati Lake - 1 - thank you so much for commenting on my videos Thank you for being a subscriber and a supporter. I know you've been a longtime supporter and very grateful for that Thank you so much if you want to be a subscriber shadow don't forget to comment on my Videos and better yet hit the bell and join the notification squad, and yeah, thanks let's jump into the video only so we're going to be starting in with the pencils and then we'll jump to to the gels ok, so I'm just going to go ahead and Fill in my brows as I always do now I love this pencil It's so easy to work with I think the color is phenomenal. It's like an absolutely perfect match for my brows literally Which I love I don't like a pencil that makes my brows darker or lighter I just like it to kind of match the brow hairs that I already have it's a very very cool toned color Which makes it look super super natural? It's blendable it glides through the brows so effortless effortlessly The tip is very precise which makes it super easy to get those hair like strokes. I absolutely love that product I have nothing not to say about it.
It's definitely one of my holy grail I found it honestly a little bit difficult at Sephora to pick my color just because they were all instead of being color names like Anastasio does they were numbers so like you know 1 2 3 So I had to really like swatch and look at the colors. It just wasn't as kind of user friendly I felt like as the AMA Stassi, which the colors are very descriptive ok, so I'm noticing right off the bat This is a creamier pencil. It's more It puts off more pigment right away whereas with the brow is you have a little bit more control because it's a bit more of a waxy formula Which I actually like you have to put a little bit more pressure onto the brush in order to get pigment out and that actually gives me a lot more control I. Like this pencil so far I don't like the color as much as the brow is as you can see it doesn't blend as Seamlessly in with my natural brow.
It's a little bit warmer and a little bit lighter, so I'm less fond of the shade range of the Precisely my brow, but it has the same nice precise tip applicator It has a nice soft spoolie which I love I hate like Certain less expensive brow products like NYX for example the spoolie is really like harsh. It actually kind of hurts a little bit So I don't think this is bad at all, this is actually a nice Option, but this is nice. I mean again somehow this one came out so much thicker. How do you know that? I'm honestly pretty comparable.
They both have that nice precise applicator. They blend really beautifully with that spoolie Makes a packaging a super cute on the benefit one How cute is that just makes me want to like do calligraphy or something alright so Anastacio? Benefit, what do you guys think that's so again? I think the biggest difference for me is um really the color honestly I just think this is such a better match for my brow but You know they really aren't all that different to be honest All right, so let's wipe this off and go ahead and try the gel in the palm. Okay, so without further ado Let's jump right into the pomade. I love the pomade I use this all the time.
I am in the color taupe Which is a tiny bit light for me, but I don't like my brows looking darker than they are if anything I like them to look a little bit lighter or match perfectly So what I do with the pomade is just take this beautiful honest up. See if I really Hills brush It is my all-time favorite brush for brows Hands down. It is the stiffest most precise angled brush I've ever laid my hands on and it is an absolute godsend for brows I. Mean there's a reason uh necessity was able to build an empire off of brow products because they're freaking the best All right, so I just like to use the side of the brush to pull up the front ever-so-slightly and I like to use what's left over on the brush like I literally dipped in like boom-boom two little taps in them I.
Like to just kind of wipe off the residue on my hand so you don't get a clump You And The pomade never disappoints again. It's it literally like it sticks to your brow like some men to you guys like once It's dry it. It's not budging. It's not budging at all it's Probably in my opinion one of the best products that I have ever used so I have this in the color number three again It's much creamier much less waxy and stiff when compared to the pomade and it's warmer so my hand is a mess But this color on the left there That's the benefit and the right that is the pomade the pomade is much much cooler undertone Which I prefer right off the bat because I don't like my brows to look warm But I made this cute little top into the brush Which it tells you to do which I really like it makes it super like travel friendly, and the brush is really cute It's a tiny little little tip they are making it very precise again until I'm feeling that creaminess right off the bat, so If you're new to brows um You might have a little bit less control because creamy products they just tend to Stray a little like you don't have as much Control with a creamy product if that makes sense.
I'm going to do the exact same thing Drag a nice straight line off the top there again it you can see that warmth coming through Do you see how much cooler? I mean this one looks like my brow built up this one looks like I'm wearing brow product in my opinion And if I look at you straight on woah how different how different are those colors? It it was creamy it glided onto the brow It filled in gaps Really nice really really nice again much creamier than the pomade, but that's no surprise And that's the finished result ok guys, so I have applied both products. Let me give you my quick final thoughts I am still partial to anastacio, Beverly Hills mainly I feel like my biggest reasoning is the color I just so much prefer the Cool undertones of the Anastacio Beverly Hills products they just match my natural brows so much better as you can see this brow so much Warmer undertone to me It looks a little bit less natural so it doesn't blend in with my Natural brow hairs quite as much aside from that I mean both products both benefit products were more on the creamy side so they took a little bit less time to build up Which in turn gives you a little bit less control over where the pencil goes? I actually like that you have to apply a bit more pressure with the Anastacio pencil because it just it allows you to build a little bit slower But with that said I did really like both of these benefit products a lot Anastacio is still number one in my heart, but I do feel like the benefit is you know a nice? Option that's it guys. Thank you guys so much for watching this video as always please like subscribe and definitely comment below I love reading your guys comments, and don't forget to follow the community tab on my YouTube page I update almost daily on there And you can really you can answer polls and can stay up to date on what I'm doing I access to your guys to feedback all the time when I'm picking. What kind of videos to do because You know you guys my audience.
I want to do what you want to see so thank you so much for watching And I'll see you in the next video. Bye.
Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. Today I'm doing a really simple natural look
featuring... The Anastasia Beverly Hills Tinted Brow Gel and this is the color Granite? Yes, granite. I'm keeping it really simple today, I'm actually
headed to the gym first thing.
And so I've got no foundation on, I've put
some undereye concealer on, some mascara on, tiny bit of blush and some lip gloss and then
I just powdered everything with just some translucent powder. I think the most important thing, maybe even
more important than mascara on my face, is using a brow gel just to fill in and kind
of set my brows. The Anastasia Beverly Hills tinted brow gel. And this is the colour granite.
She actually has a really good selection of
colors. So no matter your hair color or your skin
color or whatever... She will have a color that's going to match your look. You can see it just comes on a mascara wand.
And if I just swatch it it's just like...
Tinted gel... Tobi... What are you doing, kitty? Tobi, get out of my shot! Bad boy. So I'm just going to go ahead and fill my
brows in.
You can see it really does help fill them
in if you drag the wand against your skin. You just get left with that brown color. So once you swipe it on you can just go in
and clean up anything that's a little weird if you've kind of overdone it. Cause it is a little bit hard to control..
You are just literally swiping it on but it's super easy, it takes a second to give a swipe
with a q-tip.
And you're left with something that looks
a lot more polished and shaped with hardly any effort. So easy! If I'm doing a no-makeup day with not even
mascara... Often times I still go ahead and do this just to give yourself something a
little extra. All right! There we go...
So that's all I'm going to put in my brows
today. There are pretty much dry already even though
I just did it. They don't look absolutely perfect... But
they definitely look a lot better than if I hadn't touched them at all.
They are just like a better version of my
natural self with a little extra.... Hairiness. As usual, I'm going to check in throughout
the day and we'll see how long these bad boys last for and look amazing for. Anyway, I'm going to take off for now so let's
go.
All right so it's now the end of the night. We were just laughing that my eyebrows look
a little crazy... Like I drew them in a little thick today. But...
The main point is they are still there...
They are still rocking. I worked out, I took a shower where I didn't
wash my face but it was hot and steamy. And yea I wore them for a full 12 hours maybe
a little bit more now. And they are still looking amazing.
So for the amount of time that I spent on
them and the amount of improvement they make to my face... And the easiness and I guess
the trust that you can put into the staying power of the product is amazing. I really recommend this. This color also might be a little dark for
me but I did try medium brown and I found it a little bit warm for me.
It's really easy to find warm or cool tones
and something that you'll like. And the product lasts a long time, too. Just in terms of how long that tube actually
lasts for. Anyway guys, thank you so much for watching...
If you enjoyed today's video please give me
a thumbs up. If you've had any experience or have any tips
or comments to share let me know down below. And... Otherwise make sure you subscribe so
you can check out tomorrow's video where I.
Hi guys welcome back to my channel this
video is a special video for me I'm gonna be testing the new anastasia
beverly hills prism palette i was so excited to receive this in the mail
yesterday, i couldn't film a video yesterday because I've been so sick these
past few days but oh my God look at these colors I just had to share these
colors with you ! So I'm gonna try out a few colors and I'm gonna swatch it and
I think I'll also do a comparison and swatches of this and swatches of the
subculture palette because a lot of people say that this palette is just
like the subculture palette except that it's more pigmented and there's more
shimmery eyeshadows anywho enough talking let's get down to business
as always I'm gonna start off by applying some primer some eyeshadow
primer as a transition color I'm going to apply this color here it's
saturn it's called saturn and it looks like a kind of brick color I actually
like , this color actually reminds me of the burnt orange shadow in the modern
renascence palette . I'm just gonna apply it in the crease here as a transition
color I hope that I'm in focus it actually applies quite well I think I
should have let my primer dry a bit longer it's only been sitting on my eye
for like 30 seconds so I'm finding I. Have a bit of difficulty blending it in
but that is probably because the primer hasn't dried up
okay guys so I'm done putting the shadow on this side here well practically ,
I just added another layer just to make it more visible and I've
noticed that I had the same blending problem on this side but it's getting
easier now I think, I don't know why it's getting it's getting a bit easier now
but that kind of frustrated me I don't know what it is today
I actually like the color I think it's really really pretty I just wish it was
a tad easier to blend in but I feel like I don't feel like it has something to do
with their shadow you know I think it has something to do with my primer
, maybe my primer is not compatible with this new formula that
they've been using in their shadows I. Have to check if this is done with the
same components as the subculture the subculture
palette for the most part I felt like it was a bit more problematic than modern
renascence but it wasn't as dramatic for me as the others , except when I when it
was delivered to me 2 shadows had fallen out the shadows were
broken so I had massive fallout everywhere
therefore I didn't really get to enjoy the palette because it's just been a bit
of a struggle and I think that since I.
Tried to pack it back in , I lost a bit
of the pigmentation but I can definitely tell that the colors that are broken
were very pigmented... We're gonna use this color called parallel on the inner
crease there's so many exciting colors to play
with actually I don't know what to put on my eyelids I'm just like a kid in a
candy shop this is such a beautiful palette oh my goodness oh my goodness I
love this palette now I'm going to go in with some concealer and just try to
do a cut crease but I. Have to clean up the shadow okay guys this was a bit of a hard
decision but I think I'm gonna go for this color
pyramid, it was such a hard decision I wish I could I would just wear
all of the shimmery colors ! They are just so gorgeous
oh my gosh this color looks so beautiful do you guys see this oh my goodness look
at this this is gorgeous Wow Wow to be honest Anastasia Beverly
Hills is my go-to for eyeshadow palettes I feel like they really know their stuff
and what I like is that a lot of their palettes you can use them for night and
day like you can use them for practically every occasion you know
whether to go to work got whether to go to a party or something my friend you
know there's some other palettes which I feel are very
restrictive but their palettes never disappoint this palette I feel was
is more WOC friendly than the previous palette , the subculture palette . Actually
I love this oh my goodness yeah this is the stuff I'm gonna just blend it....
Where's my blending brush okay so unfortunately all of my brushes
seem to be dirty so I'm just gonna use the same crease brush .
I'm gonna go
over the crease here to kind of reduce the sharp lines from the cut crease I'm
also gonna put in a bit more on the outer creasei I'll probably go in with a
bit more gold this color is everything just gonna go and put more gold I don't even have words for this palette, I'm speechless this eyeshadow palette guys I'm shook as the
Americans say . As for the highlight color I think I'm gonna try to go for something a bit
crazy I think I'm gonna go for unity and for my eyebrows I'll put unity this color
here I think I'm gonna put that on the brows as a brow highlight
I hope I'm in focus guys would be really really sad and annoying if I
wasn't in focus ... But I put that here I. Actually like this, I'm
gonna blend it out with my fingers and now for the Piece de la resistance we're
gonna put this color here I've been looking at this eye shadow since
I got the anastasia beverly hills prism palette, I.
Was like what will I do with this eye
shadow I like it but I don't know it looks a bit I don't know yeah but let's
try it up uh-oh it's actually quite nice yeah this is what I am talking
about ooh look at this guys look at this I
love it anyway guys I hope you enjoyed watching
this video I hope that it wasn't that it lived up to your expectations and you
know if you asked me if I find that like if do I think that this palette is worth
it would I recommend it did I have the same problems as other people had with a
subculture palette I know that people were a bit worried about the fallout and
you know they they wanted to know if comi maybe they wanted to know if they
would have the same problems basically as far as ingredients I see that they
maintain to talk as the ingredients which is the same as subculture palette
and a lot of people thought that they had a lot of fall out because of top
being the first ingredient I didn't experience too much fall out Ashley I I
hardly experienced format when I was doing this otherwise it was nothing like
what I was watching a nature from the subculture palette and like this palette
I definitely recommend I think it's a gorgeous holiday palette with the best
colors for holidays and this definitely suits all skin tones but I think it's
particularly flattering for dark skin and brown skin so I hope you enjoyed
that watching this tutorial and see you in my next videos bye guys.
Hey guys its Jkissa. Welcome back to my channel. So today, Im going to be swatching the 9 new fall lip gloss shades from Anastasia. I wont be using a lipstick as a base and I wont be blanking out my lips, so what you see is what youre gonna get.
So if you wanna see how these look, then lets get started. Okay guys so that was it, quickly before we sign off, in case you are wondering they do retail for $16 dollars. I found that Bronzed, this Oh I just hit myself this orange one was a little bit transparent and not as pigmented as the others, so I feel like it was designed to be more of a layering gloss, if you want to layer it on top of a lipstick or another gloss, mix them together. And then, Potion, I.
Found to be a little bit patchy, and I feel like it would benefit really well from wearing a darker lipstick, or even Potion liquid to matte lipstick that Anastasia has. I feel like it would go really well if it had something underneath it, that kind of combat the patchiness. So let me know what you think down in the comment section below, and I will see you guys next time. Bye!.
Hey guys, welcome back, and hello to you new
people too. Today I'm bringing you one of the Anastasia
Beverly Hills Blush Trio. I bought the trio Pool Party, because I thought
it would be great for my fair skin. It has these three colors.
This is Blank matte blushing oak. This is Pageant, matte pink with gold sparkle. This is Kash, matte apricot-peach. I'm currently wearing Blank on my cheeks.
I applied it using this SauceBox brush by
basically kind of fitting it right here and blending it upwards and inwards. The blushes are extremely soft, they blend
out very easily. I'm going to go ahead and swatch all three
of them on the back of my hand for you. Now, they're kind of oddly-shaped in this
palette, which is why I reach for this brush, so I just bring my brush across this a little
bit and I'm going to show you what it looks like on the back of my hand.
It's kind of sheer but buildable. So this is Pageant. As you can see, they go on very sheerly, and
that's Kash. Here's what the blushes look like when they're
swatched a little heavier, close up.
Let me tell you what I love about this formula. I love that it's sheer and buildable because
its pretty much goof-proof blush. It's very, very difficult to overdo this blush
so if you have fair skin like me, this is a great blush trio for you to start with. What I don't like about it is that each blush
is only .11 Ounces of product, so you're only getting like, .33 Ounces of product total,
and that just doesn't seem like a lot of blush, but to put it in perspective, compared against
the Urban Decay blush, which you're getting .23 Ounces of product for $26, I believe,
so I guess it's similar in comparison.
It just seems really small, and because of
the shape of the pans it may be difficult for you to find a brush to use with them. I found my SauceBox brushes work really really
well, but other brushes are a little big, so that may be a deal-breaker for you. I do absolutely love the colors I chose. I kind of went in and chose the colors blindly
because I couldn't find any swatches of these colors online.
There were no blog reviews. I think maybe I saw swatches on one person's
Instagram, I want to say it was maybe KathleenLights, but that was it, so I was really disappointed
by the fact that I couldn't find any information about these before I bought them. Over all, I'm really happy with them and I
would totally purchase more. In particular, like I said, I really love
these three colors because I think they're great for my pale skin tone and they're really
flattering.
I've had a good experience with wear time
on them, because I've worn them twice so far and they've worn all day for me on foundation,
so I feel like this is a formula that's going to work really well for me. It seems to work very well for my dry skin. One other point that I thought was really
cool is that the back of this says that these are vegan, so if that's a concern for you
with blushes, that's pretty awesome because a lot of times, it's hard to find pink or
red blushes that are vegan because they often have carmine in them, so that's pretty cool. Anyway, what do you think of the new Anastasia
Beverly Hills blush trios? Please be sure to let me know in the comments
below.
If you like this video, give it a thumbs up
and share. I love it when you share my videos. And if you haven't already, go ahead and click
the subscribe button down below so you don't miss my next video. Thanks so much for watching..
Oh, hey. I was just reading a more realistic Russian tale than any adaptation of Anastasia is, really. Yeah, that's right, Russia did "The Turtles meet Batman" WAY before it was cool! Or authorized, but--(groans) ...Alright, let's move on to our next adaptation of Anastasia, by Golden Films. Why? [Rasputin's villain song] Why do I have two of these again? Alright, there are kinda 3 different levels to Golden Films releases.
[Phelous] First you have their earlier releases with GoodTimes, that were put out as American Investment Corporation, which are probably some of their best, even if they did have that haphazard scoring going on, with like Little Mermaid. I wish I had known that their first Beauty and the Beast was like Golden Films' pinnacle. Plus, it did give us a certain OLD individual that everyone loves. [Phelous] "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ain't this some Beauty and the Asswipe or somethin'?" "Tale as old as--oh shit, that's the other one.
Ah, who gives a fuck?" "Gonna go piss on those flowers!" Ah, what would we do without Clara? (Stammering) What the...? [Phelous] Their last batch from around the early 2000's, like Miracle in Toyland, which at the very least seemed to have ditched using the classical music in inappropriate places, HOWEVER, would still overpower the dialogue with their background tracks, which still weren't very well picked out. But what seems to have been their worst period (imitating Dr. Heiter from Human Centipede) WAS THE! MIDDLE PIIIIIEEEEEEEEECCCCCEEE. [Phelous] These movies were released under the Sony Wonder and Enchanted Tales banner.
If there's one thing these ones are good at, it's always taking INANE BULLSHIT to the next level. Golden Films even has a special website up for their Enchanted Tales releases, which contains activities. And guess what? It's jigsaw puzzles and coloring! Yeah, they totally Midas Interactive/Phoenix Games-ed it up. The coloring book is just screencaps from the movies with a Photoshop filter on it to up the contrast and make them black and white, which of course, gets really mucky on some of these.
Oh, and they totally forgot to actually add the Photoshopped pics for the last couple of screencaps on the Anastasia one, so...It's just blank. "Draw them yourself! What an activity!" "These tales are SOOOO-OOOOO ENCHANTED!" You all know how much I "LOVED" what they did to The Hunchback of Notre Dame as part of this series, so let's see how they bastardized Anastasia. [Audio from the movie] (Tchaikovsky's Trepak starts) (little girl's voice) It's wonderful, Papa! Immediately starting off with misuse of classical music for scoring! Well, I suppose "WONDERFUL" is ONE way to describe it! [Audio from the movie] Oh, I love it, Papa! And I love you so much! [Phelous] Ha ha, good thing everything is gonna turn out just fine for Anastasia and her family! And you know they're gonna handle this subject well when we are immediately treated to "gigantic cake" hijinks! [From the movie] Oh, my masterpiece! (Classical music and cartoon sound effects) [Phelous] Some believe it was this chef who orchestrated the shooting of the Romanovs to avenge his cake. Heh heh, that's awkward because they were real people...
But when you put them in goofy fairy tales with wacky sidekicks, I begin to question what reality even IS anymore. [From the movie] I wish we can always be together and happy! [Phelous] "And I also hope that there's NEVER a takeover of the country" "and that I end up being the sole survival of a royal execution!" [Movie] (singing with a 30 year old woman's voice) Come with me, and we'll run like the wind! Oh yeah, that's a little girl's voice, for sure! [Movie] (characters singing) The neverending circle of family and friends, are the blessings that will live for all of tiiiiiime! (All of tiiiiiiime!) UGH! These songs are just terrible! Seriously, the tunes in UAV's "Secret of Anastasia" were at least a LITTLE catchy compared to this crap! [Phelous] (singing) The hills are deeeeaaad with the murder of muuuuuu-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic! (Talking) Wait, is Anastasia like a zombie or something in this one? Those are some dead-looking lips. But luckily for her, I suppose, her lip color is extremely inconsistent. You might be thinking: "Wow, this version sure is meandering around a lot" "before getting to the usual Anastasia survival tale." And yep, you are right! We aren't getting to THAT for a while in this one.
We do eventually get that classic Anna Anderson-inspired escape of the family's execution, but that's not until THIRTY MINUTES IN of this FIFTY MINUTE MOVIE. [Phelous] Golden Films' Anastasia was actually released in the same year as the Don Bluth version, 1997, but it did actually beat it out to release, coming out earlier in the year, so I'm sure they were RUSSIAN to get this crap out quick, and it sure shows, with the majority of the animation looking rushed and a lot of the runtime feeling like filler. [Movie] (over Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Reed Flutes) Ooh, a royal egg! (Classical music continues) (gasp) Oh, it's so beautiful! [Phelous] Hear all the classical music made to feel droning as they are thrown into the background of cruddy cartoons without care! I know I've mentioned it before, but them haphazardly scoring their movies like this makes them feel like they drag on EVEN LONGER than they actually do! [Movie] Thank you, everyone! I've always wanted a Faberge egg! [Phelous] "THAT'S RIGHT, WE KEPT LIVING CREATURES TRAPPED INSIDE EGGS AND BOXES" "WITH NO AIR TO BREATHE!" [Movie] (annoying voice) Open the egg already! I ain't got all day! Oh, boy, it's about time! I've been cooped up in that rotten egg all day! Oh, I think I'm molting! Heh heh heh--yeah, you wanna put them back in there for a couple more hours? [Movie] What's wrong with you people, anyway? (Cartoon sound effects) Okay, what are you staring at? GET ON WITH IT!!! [Phelous] Yes, we got our crappy overblown annoying sidekick characters for Anastasia in these three birds. Apparently, Golden Films just HAD to add these EVERY TIME during this period, like with the stupid-ical instruments in the Hunchback and the three ghosts in their second Beauty and the Beast, one of which has the exact same voice as this asswipe bird.
[Movie] (laughs) You're funny! Funny? I-I'm funny? Oh, that's great. All of a sudden I'm Mr. Funnybone here, the King of Comedy! Oh, that's great. Ha, that's kinda like that Joe Pesci "HOW am I funny?" Speech, but dumber.
At least all the kids will appreciate the Goodfellas reference, though. [Movie] (over stupid cartoon noises) You're kidding, right? THAT'S the tsar? [Phelous] HOW LONG CAN THIS GO ON?!? I HATE YOU, MOVIE!! [Movie] (CHOMP!) Hmm, tastes like chicken! (Over pointless cartoon sounds) Well, nice to meet you, Your Majesty. At your service and all that royal stuff. Papa, Mama, I love them so much! [Phelous] WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!? Anyway, bird shenanigans go on for the next few years, I shit you not.
But then, Anastasia decides she should take her sick brother Alexei out in the cold. [Movie] Oh boy, this is trouble! Don't make me side with the annoying bird! [Phelous] Why are there people just spinning in a circle in the palace courtyard? [Movie] I wonder how they play so joyously when they don't have food or coats or...Or decent shoes? [Phelous] At least looking down on the lower class was included in this version. And the circle spinners are apparently everywhere. [Movie] Boys, boys, boys.
That's all you two ever think of! (Cartoon noise) Hey, hey, hey! I'm eating here! Oh! Food! He was trying to eat BEFORE he knew it was food? [Movie] (gasp) [Phelous] Yeah, you still gotta try a little less with your gasps to get to Beauty levels, Annie, but... I don't know what she expected to SEE in the tavern. "DRUNK PEOPLE?? Drunk people at a BAR????" However, while drunk Rasputin is kinda off, I never knew that he also had a drunk dog. [Movie] Oh boy, the Bolshevik's night out! What a party! Hahaha--(hiccups without any movement) (no talking) (hiccup they actually animated) Bolshevik's party, get it? Hehe--(HIC!) Kids be LOVIN' the drunk dog humor.
[Phelous] Rasputin's design in this is very odd. The lines around his eyes look like glasses. I seriously wasn't sure if he was supposed to be wearing some or not through a lot of this movie. However, Rasputin WAS always known for his mismatching eyebrows.
[Movie] (classical music and cartoon noises) Anastasia! We've been looking for you everywhere. Come with me, your father wants to see you. YIKES! (More classical music that doesn't fit) (more cartoon noises that don't fit) C'mon! Let's go! (More classical music and cartoon sounds) [Phelous] This is just so lazy I can't stand it, Golden Films apparently thought just random cartoon sound effects would fix the lack of mood they gave anything by not caring how they jammed in their background tracks with no rhyme or reason to them. It's just such a cluttered mess when the dialogue and actions, music, AND sound effects are all pulling the thing in a different direction, so the viewer's self-defense mechanism kicks in, making you tune out! [Phelous] This movie almost DEFIES you to try and watch it.
If you DARE try to pay attention, you'll pay for it! [Movie] (Now Swan Lake is playing) (gasp) [Beauty gasp] [Movie] Your mother has met a healer who we think can help your brother. [Phelous] Well, this is at least what Rasputin actually DID in reality... ...At least the tsar THOUGHT he was helping to heal Alexei, which is why Rasputin held such favor with the Romanovs. [Movie] Hmph, you say you can cure my son? Well, get on with it, man.
[Phelous] "Is my son cured yet? I can't believe he isn't cured yet! BORING!" [Movie] (less convincing gasps) [Phelous] Hmmm...Getting better, AKA worse. But yeah, I'm very sure faith healing always includes a little light show. That was almost like SORCERY. Wonder where they got an idea like THAT? Rasputin isn't gonna be pulling a whole lot MORE of that stuff, though, so, they just needed a little dash of it, you know? [Movie] Alexei! [Killdozer review reference] YOU STINK! YOU STINK! YOU STINK! YOU STINK! [Movie] You've been to the village alone, Anastasia! [Phelous] We're just...Moving past Alexei's little light and smoke cure? Not even gonna mention if it WORKED? "Oh yeah, Alexei is dead.
I do not like Rasputin AT AAAAAAAAALLLLL." "SO accurate!" [Movie] You have a heart of gold. The Imperial Double-Eagle Medal! I'll wear it over my heart always. Guess what's gonna be used to stop the bullet? Try not to be surprised! [Movie] For bravery, for courage beyond that of most normal chickens, I accept this medal! Hey, don't *I* get one? (Sad cartoon SHWOO-ooop!) I think another part of me just died. [Movie] (Over Trepak again) The royal family no longer appreciates my food! Next thing you know (sound effect), old Pierre will be kaput-sky! (Sound effect) Out on the streets! Out of a job! (Sound effect) Disaster! Well, if you ask me, it's a little too rich! And too salty! I hate everything right now.
[Phelous] Glad we had TWO versions of Anastasia do the "Sebastian and the chef"-like scene with the goofy tagalongs. I never realized that was such a necessary part of the Anastasia story! [Movie] (male voice) These documents tell when the tsar's troops are shipping out. (Rasputin's voice) How can I betray his majesty's trust? I'll make it worth your while. Does THIS do the trick? [Phelous] MAYBE you shouldn't make plans to overthow the tsar in HIS PALACE, and with an OPEN DOOR! They might as well have left a sign: [Movie] Oh, it's light.
[Phelous] Oh, yeah, Rasputin can hypnotize as well, so if you want to count that as some more powers, I guess he does have some magic left in him. I'm also glad in this version, Rasputin healed up Alexei, then Tsar Nicholas said "Hey, thanks. I might not like you much, but here's my military plans. Please don't betray me, 'kay?" Anyway, Anastasia and one of her sisters go over to a military hospital to help the wounded.
THAT happened, FOOOOR SUUUURE! But it's all worth it for Annie to meet her love interest. [Movie] Uh, my name's (slight pause) Anna. And yours? Aleksandr. Aleksandr Tchaikovsky.
[Phelous] Uhh, maybe that's a reference to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, who's music they keep MISUSING, or it's a reference to the Anna Anderson story, as she said a man named Tchaikovsky helped her escape Russia. Now get a load of this cut! So smooth! Not blurry at all! Um...So it seems Anastasia has kinda forgotten to TELL anyone about overhearing those plots to overthrow her father. Oh, well. That's not a big deal, won't lead to anything unfortunate.
She's got more important things to worry about anyway, like romancing dummies in the hospital. [Movie] (Anastasia's sister) I wonder what's going on? [Phelous] Yeah, I'd just casually wonder that as soldiers THROW A PATIENT OUT ON TO THE STREET! [Movie] (Anastasia) I-I have to get in there! C'mon! [Phelous] "Oh, they said nothing. Let's give up, we're just ROYALTY anyway!" [Movie] (Swan Lake playing loudly) Aleksandr! What's going on? [Phelous] "I'm turning into a swan!" [POOF!] (Phelous making swan noises) [Movie] (gasp) The Bolsheviks are clearing us out. The nuns have given us peasant clothes, so they won't know we're soldiers of the tsar.
[Phelous] What? That's not an issue! You can wear the uniform of the deposed tsar for like 20 years and no one will care AT ALL. [Movie] Where will you go? Shouldn't you be a little more concerned about YOU and your family's situation if they're trying to hide their allegiance to your father? [Movie] All of my family is gone, except for old Uncle Boris. Maybe I'll visit him...Or maybe not. [Movie] Will I ever see you again? [Phelous] "Noooo! I'm shrinkiiiiiing!" [Movie] (crowd) Freedom for the people! End imperial cruelty! Death to the tsar! [Phelous] "And now, let's just react to something that clearly wasn't put in." Good thing it was really easy for Anastasia and her sister to get back home through that little RIOTING CROWD over there.
[Movie] The people are revolting everywhere! I wonder what happened to Aleksandr? PRIORITIES, ANNIE! [Phelous] Oh, they gave Aleksandr peasant clothes so that he could NOT wear them, he's smart. [Movie] Where in the world did she get this? Anastasia...? PRINCESS Anastasia! I seriously thought he had figured that out a couple scenes ago. Heh heh...Well, he's even exceeded my expectations for his stupidity. [Movie] She's the daughter of the tsar, isn't she? Mm-hm! I finally find the girl of my dreams, and I'll never be able to marry her! Because I'm just a peasant.
[Phelous] "I mean, unless her father gets deposed. I can only hope, heh heh heh!" But oh, man, here we go with the SUPER ACCURATE: Rasputin leading the people in their charge to overthrow the tsar! Rasputin was murdered well before the deposing of the tsar, and it happened because people were angry with how much power he held with the royal family. So yeah, basically, this is 100% correct! [Phelous] NOW we get to see a variety of absolutely HORRID crowd shots! I mean, seriously, look at this! LOOK AT THIS!! "WE SURE DO LOVE HAVING THE PALACE STORMED!" "AAAAH! WE DIED AS WE LIVED: STUPIDLY!" At this point in the movie they've spent so much time with the entire Romanov family you almost think they're gonna have them all survive somehow. But, nope! THAT'd be historically inaccurate! And we wouldn't wanna add one MORE thing to the pile! [Movie] The tsar has been toppled! The people rule! You're free to go; you are no longer part of the tsar's army! [Phelous] Yeah, Russian Paul Revere riding around to say "THE REVOLUTION IS COMING!" Seems like a plausible depiction of how these events went down.
They also had the calmest looting ever. "What'd you do today, honey?" "Oh, not much. I helped overthrow our tsar." "Got a free painting out of it, too." [Phelous] Time for ACTION ALEKSANDRRRRR. As he pulls a classic uniform switcheroo! Luckily for him, none of the other soldiers stationed with this guy he's pretending to be ever actually looked at his FACE before.
[Movie] A true revolutionary! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I love being casual!" [Movie] Where do you think Aleksandr is tonight? [Phelous] Anastasia just really isn't invested in that whole "Father deposed and under house arrest" thing, she has bigger things to worry about, like "Do you think Aleksandr figured out who I am even though I basically TOLD him already?" [Movie] (singing) Every time I close my eyes, [Phelous] Well, it's time for Anastasia's "I'm a choppily animated alien!" Song. Heh heh--it blows. [Movie] (male voice) With the tsar's troops already in Germany-- [Phelous] (derpy laugh) [Movie] (over Night on Bald Mountain) Go in and take Moscow! Moscow...Such a clumsy name, not lyrical at all. How about...Rasputinsburg? Ugh...(Facepalm) [Phelous] Well, I suppose that's an appropriate response, but you'd better extend that to the fact that you even EXIST, drunken comical relief dog! And the rest of the movie, really.
Why is Rasputin the one in charge now? He was working for "it's-a me, Evil Russian Mario!" Before this scene, but now everything's (sudden Fresh Prince reference) FLIPPED, turned upside down! [Movie] "Release the Romanovs"? Ha, that's rich. (Evil laugh) Have the royal family shot! (Evil Russian Mario) Shot? But-- DO IT! *I* AM IN CHARGE NOW! Oh, I didn't realize that he said "I'm in charge now!" And everyone else just said "Yeah, okay!" NOW it makes sense. [Movie] The party's over! Tonight the royal family shall be executed. Oh, I wonder where they're taking us? Maybe our summer palace, or abroad to England! This movie is so tone-deaf.
[Movie] (over Flight of the Valkyries) You'll be more comfortable in the basement, uh, while we bring the wagons around. Thank you. [Phelous] Oh, wait, I spoke too soon. Flight of the Valkyries is the perfect tune for the execution of the Romanovs.
[Elmer Fudd clip] (singing to Flight of the Valkyries) Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit! [Movie] (a bird chirping) Dmitri! [Phelous] "I'd know his annoying tweets anywhere! Time to unfollow him." [Movie] Uh...I'll be right back, I forgot something. Really? She's just allowed to duck out from the execution for a sec'? [Movie] You can't go down there! I've got to, Father's waiting. Meet me outside. In a few minutes we can finally be together! "Noooooo.
Doooooooon't. Eh, I tried." [Phelous] It's just life and death, no need for Aleksandr to really INSIST in this case that Anastasia not go down there. [Movie] (Rasputin singing) Come now, comrades! Taste your freedom! Russia is ours! Now savor the power! (Sigh) I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. [Phelous] But hey, look, more cruddy crowd shots, and they even managed to make them jumpy.
What a treat. These are the faces of people happily liberated. Totally NOT dead inside aaat aaaaaaallllll. However, I AM really impressed with Rasputin's walking in place here as they break into the palace they already have control of.
[Movie] (singing) Sing, sing, now the peasant is the kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng. (Talking) Now Rasputin is the king! You just OVERTHREW your king equivalent! The WHOLE POINT was they DIDN'T WANT ANOTHER-- (quick little episode) Suffice it to say, they did not overthrow the tsar, then make a new person tsar, especially someone ALREADY DEAD. [Movie] The tsar is dead! [Phelous] That's the movie's first real confirmation that the execution did in fact go down, by the way. They just thought throwing us into a Rasputin "We are free from the tsar, now I'M the tsar" song first was better to keep with this movie's horrid pace! [Movie] (crowd) Long live Rasputin! Fools! Shut up! HA! [Movie] I'll take this one and meet you in the forest.
Ah, I appreciate it, comrade. I am tired from this truly heavy burden. [Phelous] "Killing people is exhausting, but it sure does keep a smile on my face!" [Movie] Oh, Anastasia...What have they done to you? (Sobbing) Well, sadly enough, that would be more realistic... [Phelous] In some of the "Anastasia survives" stories, it goes that one of the soldiers took pity on her after realizing she wasn't dead, so I guess that's maybe what they're trying to reflect here with Aleksandr dressed as one of the soldiers-- that's probably giving them too much credit.
So, the dumbass and the birds eventually realize what the movie obviously telegraphed a lifetime ago, and that was that the medal caught the bullet meant for Anastasia. This is one of the other few things in this horrid little cartoon that actually does reflect reality as the Romanovs had sewn into their corsets jewelry to try and hide it from their captors. And yeah, it did actually apparently repel some of the bullets at first. Oh no! Anastasia's a fraud! This is Rasputin's daughter! [Movie] Who are you? Where are you taking me? Don't you...Remember your family? No.
Don't you remember anything? No. Amnesiastasia! THAT seems like a necessary thing to tack on... [Phelous] Now, I don't wanna shock you guys, but there is a particular other telling of the Anastasia story that has an amnesia plot. [Movie] Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, let me see now, where I put my shoes? I know I had them here somewhere! Tone whiplash? What's THAT? [Phelous] So yeah, the double-A's are heading off to live it up with Aleksandr's Uncle Boris, who has the power to go super cock-eyed gone super cock! [Movie] Oh, forget it! HO HO HO HO! Oopsky poopsky! I bonked my little headsky wedsky! He also has the power to never shut the hell up, because we needed TWO characters doing that.
[Movie] And she can't remember anything? That's right. Well I'll be hog-tied! (Oink oink oink!) [Phelous] What? Stupid Orson here can't talk like the birds? Better read some more books, you idiot pig! [Movie] (same "OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!" Laugh 3 times) I appreciate you putting us up, Uncle Boris. [That exact same clip] [Clip from earlier] The party's over! [The same clip yet again] [Movie] Listen chubby, she's with me--! OH HO HO HO HO HO HO! [Phelous] That really wasn't an edit by me this time, by the way, after looping his laugh three times during that first run, they really did it ONE MOOORE TIIIIIIME! Now we get to see Aleksandr and Anastasia romancing it up, take 2, because it was so good the first time. But now it's amnesia-style, so it's even more annoying, like "the last season of Chuck" annoying! Oh, wait, no, I DON'T remember that season happening.
SELECTIVE AMNESIA! [Movie] Would you marry me, my Princess Anastasia? [Phelous] "Well, the only other guy I can remember at this point is your stinky uncle, so okay!" [Movie] (high pitched laugh that Phelous loops several times) ...Aleksandr, oh, uh, take this woman...? ANNA! "ANDERSON!" "Oops." [Phelous] So this sham of a marriage happens, and you're just BEGGING for this damn thing to end at this point, BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! They have a kid! Why? I don't know, it's just more STUFF to add! [Movie] She's starting to wanna know about her family. [Phelous] "I thought I'd marry her before I actually tell her anything that might help jog her memory," "Heh heh, PRIORITIES!" At least Aleks is thinking of it now, only a few years and one kid later. [Phelous] The double-A's go on a little trip back to Russia and the now boarded-up palace, because that wouldn't be an ill-advised little trip at all, if anyone recognized her in Rasputin-burg. But those stupid eggs, which were dropped when Aleksandr saved her, and just no one ever thought "hey, I could probably sell those," are what jogs her memory.
Guess the birds that were actually INSIDE those eggs weren't quite as memorable. [Movie] I remember everything now! THE END! And I'm not joking, either. [Phelous] They totally ignore the fact that Anastasia getting back her memory would mean she just remembered her family was murdered, they just act like this is a happy moment and roll right into the credits with a song. Wait a second, "Screenplay by Libby Hinson and Charles Martinet"? The "voice of Mario" Charles Martinet? Yup, apparently so, and on IMDb this is the only thing he has a writing credit for, so...
"OOOH! MAMMA MIA!" That bit of strangeness aside, and if the rest of the ill thought-out things in this movie weren't enough for you, don't forget, we just totally left Russia in control of Rasputin! There's NO resolution for that. It's just like they ran out of movie! If only they used their runtime to actually resolve the story instead of just having obnoxious jackasses never shut the hell up and watch the Romanovs meander around! [Rasputin's villain song starts] (singing) Come now, comrades! Taste your freedom! There is no more tsar of reviews! (Evil chuckle) (talking) Now *I* am the tsar of reviews! (Evil laugh) I must be stopped! [Silence] No? [Outtro music] "I finally got my memory back! "Hope I didn't do anything stuuu...Piiii...Oh, shit!".
Dingo Pictures was somehow more accurate with their adaptation of The Hunchback of Notre Dame than both UAV AND Golden Films--in their own goofy way... Can they do the same for Anastasia? Spoilers: no. [Chamber music] Oh Dingo, Dingo, Dingo, they really did it with this one. I mean, watching Dingo Pictures is always quite the experience, but this one just has you constantly reeling to try and keep up with the nonsense! [Phelous] Some of these Dingo Pictures movies have quite the cover variations.
I've mentioned how a lot of them tried to look better than the actual Dingo Picture character models, but that's not so much the case for the English DVD for Anastasia. This cruddy picture here isn't even representative of what she looks like in the slightest! They got the dog down, though, who is the main character, if you believe this tacked-on title screen. SOME foreign releases, though, DID get the "let's pretend this looks better than it actually does" artwork covers, but then there were others that tried to make her look a bit like the Bluth version, just with darker hair. This cover was also slightly modified and used for the Midas Interactive PlayStation release.
The covers that best show what you're actually gonna get are the German ones, of which there are THREE variants. My favorite has to be, though, the giant dead-eyed Anastasia with a horrible redraw of Anastasia from the cover of the Bluth one, who has no feet and she must run. Why would they double up the Anastasia on the cover? (Sigh) Well, there is a reason in the movie for this, and we'll get to that. [Phelous] Man, I can't eat any of the snow here, it's ALL yellow! And I know I've talked about Dingo showing garbage area that you shouldn't see before, but man, in a few of these shots, it looks like their crap-tacular backgrounds are gonna slide right off the table! Well, this horse sure knows what movie it's in.
[Audio from the movie] BrRrRrRrrrrrrrr... Vladimir! Vladimir! (In a familiar voice) Grand Duchess? Vladimir, are you absolutely sure that you have packed all the suitcases? No, Grand Duchess. Well, better to be safe than sorry, so my deceased husband said, God rest his soul, n'est-ce pas (am I right)? Oh, if she would only GO... What even is anything anymore? [Phelous] But hey, at least they DID use the term "Grand Duchess." It's never used for Anastasia, but at least it's in there.
(In the judge voice) Also, really glad to hear the return of that horrible judge voice from Hunchback. [Audio from the movie] The best thing about the Russian winter is that my mother escapesssss to Parissss. Hee hee hee! I'm gonna tally up the laughing shots in this one, because even for Dingo, this was excessive! [From the movie] What are you laughing about, Anastasia? I am Grand Duchess Olga of Romanov! [Phelous] Well, there were a couple Grand Duchess Olgas, one was Anastasia's sister. The one I believe this is sort of supposed to be, though, is Grand Duchess Olga Alexandrovna.
This would seem to be the person that the grandmother characters in Anastasia stories are always based on, but in reality she was Anastasia's aunt. The real Olga DID meet with Anna Anderson to see if she was Anastasia, which no doubt inspired a lot of the fictional Anastasia stories to have that reunion-with-the-grandmother part, but the outome in reality was quite different, as she was fairly unconvinced that this was her niece. [From the movie] When adults are talking, children have to keep quiet, compris (got it)? Yes, Granny. [Phelous] Whoa, the cross-eyed eye roll! Only the REAL blonde Anastasia could pull THAT one off! And yeah, I don't know why they went with this bright blonde when the real Anastasia didn't have that hair, clearly.
My best guess though, is they did it so she wouldn't look completely the same as their Esmerelda character when she grew up. Gotta love those lazy Dingo redraw techniques! [Movie] This is a law for you as well, ma petite (young lady)! Well at least that HORSE is enjoying itself now! [Movie] My son, don't you want to come to Paris with me? Now, you know I can't leave Moscow. The people are planning a revolution! To drive me away! Me, the tsar of Russia! [Phelous] "As you know, mother, that is meeeee, the tsaaaaaar." "I just felt like telling you things that you knew alreadyyyyyyy." [Movie] (in a ridiculous voice) Imagine that! The people want to rule themselves? [Clip from The Time Machine (I Found at a Yard Sale)] WHAT THE. Uh...I guess that's what it sounds like when a German person tries to pull off a Russian accent? (Groan) Dingo, you have enough trouble saying words that make any sort of sense, you shouldn't be attempting accents! [Movie] HA! The people are stupid! [Phelous] "SOOOOOOOOO stuuuuu-piiiiiiiiiiiid." [Movie] You need an advisor whom you can rely on, but Rasputin I believe has a face of a traitor! Heh heh heh heh...
[Phelous] "I love being called a traitor because I hate subtlety," "just look at my goblin face!" [Movie] Rasputin has been in my service for many years, and he was always faithful to me. YA! YA! YAAAA-HAA-HAA, I LOVE laughing at things that aren't funny! [Movie] Hahahaha [Phelous] Before annoying Olga leaves and waves goodbye to the audience, she gives Anastasia a pendant, so that they'll have a plot item to identify her with later. If only the real Anastasia had an immediate-proof pendant, would have saved some time... And some really thought-out adaptations of her story...
[Phelous] WOW. Olga's head is like the size of half of the driver's body! Conceited much? [Movie] Heeheeheeheeheehee! [Phelous] Oh yes, it's time for us to meet the leaders of the People's Will Revolution: the Romanov's butler, some fat jackass, and the stupid French chef from Pocahontas. But I suppose we should allow Dingo a certain amount of lazy license on this story. [Movie] The tsar lives like a god and the people in the country are starving! [Phelous] "Most of the revolutionaries are sooo hungry! Heh heh heh heh..." [Movie] And in the palace, tons of food is trown away, am I right, Cook? Okay, you very lazily reused your chef character, and even still nonsensically had him flipping a pancake at this meeting, but at the very least, you could have taken the TWO SECONDS to give him a name! [Phelous] Cooky Cookerson fought for the hammer and sickle symbol to instead be the FRYING PAN and sickle symbol, but sadly, Sitting Man just wouldn't budge.
[Movie] How do you dare to turn up here? Hadn't you promised that the tar would go with his mother to Paris and we'd prepare the revolution in peace? So their plan was to, what, just wait for the tsar to leave Russia, then lock him out and say "The country's ours now"? [Movie] Tonight, you will be rid of the tsaaaaaar, yesssssss! [Phelous] "Nailed my line for suuuure, yessssssssssss!" Can anyone REALLY take bouncy-nose Rasputin seriously? [Movie] (chuckle) Well that changes MY mind. Can't wait for Rasputin to tie Anastasia to the railroad tracks. [Movie] Ha ha ha ha ha ha... [Phelous] Yes, you are really seeing this.
Rasputin is taking out the tsar's palace with a cartoon bomb. And, double your pleasure, double your dumb: [Movie] HA HA HA HA HA HAAA HAAAAAAAA!! [Phelous] So...Yeah, a bunch of people died there, but at least we can always trust DINGO to handle that subject well. [Random old-video-game-sounding laughing clip] [Audio clip from Dingo's Hunchback] It belongs in a great big FIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Phelous] You might be thinking the tsar died here as well, as he never shows up again, but you would be wrong. He was just thrown by the explosion, Resident Evil movie style, to France.
And, after falling in a little time portal, became the Abbe, and adopted Quasimodo. Sorry, I'm just being silly, as we all know from history, Tsar Nicholas II turned into a tuba. [Movie] I can't help thinking I think it looks like arsony [sic]. [Phelous] WHOA, someone make the Notre Dame bum a detective right away! I see why they were reusing characters, though, as giant-feet Comrade Mustache and Miss broken-arm short-legs showed how invested they were in drawing anyone new for this.
[Movie] Nobody has survived, they must all be dead. "Nobody has survived, they all must be dead." Wow, forget Detective Bum, we've got a TRUE mastermind on the case! [Birdemic clip] Hey, there's dead people on the side of the road. Let's go see if there's any survivors. [Phelous] Oh shit, there was a dead survivor! Way to blow, uber-mind! [Movie] (with a female voice) The child is full of soot.
She must have been in the palace. She is probably the daughter of a servant. Yeah, just assume that, Mr. Woman-Voice Stache! [Movie] The devil should get me...Anastasia's still alive! (Garbled) Oh wait, I will change that immediately! [Phelous] (very garbled) "I LOVE BEING BARELY COHERENT!" [Movie] I don't know anything! That's how I feel at this point, too...
[Movie] Hehehehe, she doesn't know who she is! That is good! [Phelous] "Yes, good! Stealing plot points from the more popular Anastasia adaptation, very good!" [Movie] Hahahaha... She doesn't know who she is, is that possible? [Shao Kahn audio clip] IMPOSSIBLE! [Phelous] This has gotta be one of the most asinine "displaced Anastasia" tales; they found her AT THE PALACE! Did NONE of these bozos know what any of the royal family looked like? And they're all just so blase about the palace being blown up you'd think that this happens all the time! Then again, maybe it does in Dingo world. I have trouble even remembering reality a few minutes into one of THESE. [Phelous] So Miss Mustache decides he'll take Anastasia home with him, because why bother checking with anyone about anything? [Movie] The tsaaaaaaaaaar is deeeeeaaad! [Phelous] Of course, it might take a while for anyone to actually NOTICE in this universe.
[Movie] We had agreed that I make sure that the tsar disappears, as you make sure the people elect ME as their president! [Phelous] These four doofuses can't even find a place to hold their meetings after the palace got completely wrecked from one roly poly bomb, do you seriously expect us to believe that they've overtaken the country and replaced the governing structure? OOOH, THERE SHE IS! THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER, and she's...Smelling the crap on Anna's boots. Good stuff. [Movie] What's her name? Sasha. Everybody's got a name, but I don't have one.
[Phelous] Well, THAT'S not true. [Movie] You still cannot remember you anything? I HATE when I can't remember my anything! [Movie] You have probably lost your memory...From the explosion last night. Alright, that's HER excuse. WHAT'S YOURS? [Phelous] Glad we've got another detective on this case, though, they'll figure out ALL the blatantly obvious things...
Except of course that she's Anastasia. [Movie] (oddly quiet barking) I expected better advice from such an important character. [Phelous] Why do the dog noises sound like they're twenty feet away from the mic compared to the rest of the dialogue? I can't believe Dingo would mess up audio! [Movie] Sasha wants you to stay with us. [Phelous] "It seems really ill-advised, but I always go with what my DOG says." [Movie] Could my name be Asha? [Phelous] "Yeah, sure.
I guess that's sort of close to your real name--oops, I mean who are you?" Oh, Sasha changed her mind. It'd be STUPID to run THAT way. [Movie] (what sounds like the tsar's voice) 6 years later. [Phelous] (sing-songy) Had to say it, because changing the text is too much work! Rasputin also has one of those lazy fatass rats as a sidekick now.
Why? Well, because, y'know, he had that bat in the Bluth one, that's why. [Movie] I haven't been elected! This mob has not elected me againnnnnnnnn! Ah, shoot! I KNEW I meant to vote for Rasputin! [Phelous] I mean, who WOULDN'T trust that troll face? [Movie] Democracy isn't worth anything. Let's have a revolution! That must have already happened if you've gotten rid of the tsar, you stupid rat! [Movie] Revolution? We had one just a couple of years ago. Then you start a NEW revolution! [Phelous] Okay, Russia really did have two revolutions, so Dingo got THAT right.
Rasputin didn't have anything to do with either of them, though, mostly due to being dead before they happened, and I really don't know why these things keep putting Rasputin as one of the leaders of the revolution. Oh yeah, and that rat is the only talking animal in this one, but I guess Rasputin isn't friends with his street gang anymore, so he needed SOMEONE to bounce ideas off of. [Movie] Oh, don't talk such rubbish! [Phelous] Rubbish. Dingo just LOVES rubbish, and it shows.
[Movie] The old babushka must heeyy me! [???] "And you'll need all the 'heeyy' you can geeeet!" [Movie] BABUSHKA! [Phelous] So Rasputin is either yelling for a head scarf or a grandmother to help him? Nah, of course THIS babushka is... [Movie] (cackling) [Phelous] ...Some stupid-looking witch with a ROOT growing out of her head. [Movie] Comrade Rasputin! So, you blew up the palace for nothing six years ago? Ha-ha! You told me when the tsar and his family were dead, I'd come to power! [Phelous] Wait, is Rasputin an elf or a Vulcan? That would explain a lot. What? No it wouldn't! [Phelous] Watch out, babushka, I think your head is trying to escape your body.
[Movie] Anastasia is alive! Kill her! Yeah, that'll change the votes! [Movie] How can I find the girl after all this time? She could be anywhere now. That's YOUR problem, my dear. (Cackles) HA HA HAA, what the "heeyy" is any of this? [Movie] (growly gibberish while the mouse giggles) [Phelous] Well, I hope you liked that witch being added to the plot, 'cuz she never shows up again. At least she told Rasputin to do that thing he was already trying to do--oh, wait, that was useless.
Um, at least she told Rasputin that Anastasia was still alive--oh wait, no, he knew that too. Never mind! (Singing) All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faa-aaa-aaces... [Movie] The old Grand Duchess in Paris still believes her granddaughter's alive. She must be pretty mad.
[Phelous] "Of course, I saw a girl who looked exactly like her survive the explosion," "but that's far too obvious to occur to me!" [Movie] She has even offered a reward of 10,000 rubles for the one who brings back Anastasia. (With a deep male voice) 10,000 rubles? I would really like to know how many false granddaughters will be pinned on her! "OOOOAAAAAAOOOHHHHH..." Why? Why is the Bluth Anastasia here? And why is she a man? [Phelous] Seriously, this is just a straight-up Dingo-ized version of the Bluth Anastasia, but they made her a man, despite not really trying in the slightest to actually make her LOOK like one. He's still got really feminine-looking features on the face, but oddly without black lines for the nose or anything like most of the other Dingo characters. Also, he's apparently wearing mummy wrapping under his coat.
I just really don't get why Dingo would copy the Bluth Anastasia design, then make her a different character, especially a MALE one! [Movie] (extremely garbled) There he is! This thief, stop him! [Phelous] "BRURARARURARARURARARARARARUH!" [Movie] Couldn't you stop him? Damn. [Phelous] WHAT. THE DAMN HELL IS THAAAT?!? Glad Dingo creatures can get even worse if they're drawn into the background. Whoa, nice run cycle! Oh, sorry.
Had amnesia for a sec' and I forgot what running actually looked like. [Phelous] (singing to the Sonic SatAM theme) Too crappy of a run cycle, Anastasia the maaaan! [Movie] I have to disappear from Moscow, at least until this thing is dead and buried. [Phelous] That voice just seems so wrong coming out of this character. Every time it happens, you're just like "UGH!" But oh well.
Sure was nice of Dingo Bambi and Thumper to cameo. Then again, it was their willingness to meet with the people like this that led Bambi Thumper to beating Rasputin and Rat-sputin in the elections. [Movie] (barking and knocking on the door) We don't want to buy anything. I don't want to sell anything, I just want to take shelter here.
What is your name? Boris Klovaki Well, Boris Lovaki, then come in. [???] [Phelous] "Since you have a name, you can stay as long as you like." [Movie] (more barely audible barking) Thanks for the contribution, dawg! [Move] Hehehehehe [Phelous] So...Anastasia is going to be ANASTASIA'S love interest? That's kinda self-cest, isn't it? So if they screw, is that like masturbation? [Movie] Can't you tie up this monster? Have you heard, Sasha? He is really afraid of you! [Phelous] Male Anastasia notices FEMALE Anastasia's pendant drop with his broken eyes, and figures: "YOINK!" [Movie] I can't believe it! The pendant is worth at least a hundred, perhaps even two hundred (weird pause) rubles. "I thought I messed up the line, but I totally (pause) saved it." [Movie] Hmm, if I sold this, I could pay all my debts. Ah, what a good idea-- Boris! I must have lost my pendant somewhere around here.
Have you seen it? [Phelous] "Oh, you mean this thing I'm looking at?" "No. I haven't." "OOOH-KAAAAAY!" [Movie] What's the matter, Sasha? (Quiet barks) [Phelous] Too bad Sasha can't talk like that brilliant rat. You'll never beat Rat-sputin in the polls running with HER as your partner, Anna-zone! [Movie] Now I have to go. What about breakfast? [Phelous] "Breakfast is ruined!" There's a store that is just "VODKA"? That is so stupid.
I love it. [Movie] Look what I've got here! Where'd you get that from? Oh I was given it by an old man because, well... I chopped wood for him...Uh, yeah, I chopped wood for him! They "HOPE" that is true? Why, they just really want to imagine Male-stasia chopping wood? [Movie] Why would I lie to you? You've known me for ages! Exactly. Doesn't matter, Let me--(full stop) Tell me, how many rubles will you give me for it? [Phelous] Boris-stasia of course sees in the paper that the plot pendant is his female counterpart's, because why wouldn't that pendant be in the paper? [Movie] (random voice) How could you be so stupid? (Another voice says something indecipherable as the Dingo wah-wah music plays) (the first voice) We could have easily earned the money ourselves! Come on, go fetch Rasputin! What was ANY of that? [Movie] Asha! You dare come back here? You thief, you robber! [Phelous] Did the dog talk off-screen? How does she suddenly know this? [Movie] I haven't stolen your pendant, but when I was at my home I noticed that it had fallen into my boot.
What are you saying? Sasha, have you heard? My pendant had fallen into his boot. [Phelous] At least the DOG is amused by this never-ending stupidity! [Movie] Have you been prrricked by your conscience, you old vagabond? [Phelous] I don't know if "old vagabond" are quite the right words to describe this...This... Ana-bomi-sta-tion! And that's not a negative comment about trans people, there's a difference between Dingo's mess of a character here and someone who actually changed their gender, COME ON! [Movie] Is Asha not your real daughter? Yes, she is now, but as a matter of fact-- [Tien Shinhan audio] It isn't! [Movie] But it looks like my pendant! You are Anastasia! Rrrrubish! Everybody knows that the whole family of the tsar was killed at that time. Asha! Asha! What's wrong, dear father? [Phelous] "I need you to wipe my butt!" (Dingo's wah-wah music) In classic Dingo fashion, these morons take forever discussing the obvious, and that they'll go to Paris to see Anastasia's grandmother.
Also, Boris-stasia seems to be turning into a raccoon... "There can be only one!" (Dingo's "DUNN!!" Of death) (Hunchback nuns screaming) [Movie] (Miss Mustache's voice) --away from home alone. [Phelous] Rasputin finds out about Asha-stasia's little trip from the bums outside the Vodka store, but the most important part of this scene is that learning that Rat-sputin can do a bit of flying and teleporting. Speaking of teleporting, the horse-drawn carriage makes it past the snow line and suddenly, it's summer.
But you know, getting from Moscow to Paris is just a quick little jaunt through Russia, Belarus, Poland, Germany, and France. Real easy for a horse-drawn carriage trip. [Movie] EEEUUUAAUUGH! FASTEEE-EEAAURRRGH!!! That's pretty much my thoughts on this movie at this point, especially the "EEUUUAAAAUURRGH!" [Phelous] But of course we can't wrap this thing up without the important things, like PIGEONS. And then Anastasia and company stopping to eat and discussing how they will in fact consume the food with their mouths beforehand.
OOH, OOH, and don't forget, Rasputin's HORSE gets tired, and then WUSCHEL shows up! "I hate Wuschel!" Can't believe this lazy horse is tired after running through only several countries! [Movie] (distant barks) BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL! Ha ha ha! Why? [Movie] You leave Dirk alone, you bloody mongrel! How DARE you swear at my dog like that! Sasha is NOT a "bloody mongrel"! [Phelous] Yeah, "bloody mongrel" is probably some of the harshest words we've ever heard in one of these Dingo Pictires. [Movie] Get away, you country bumpkin! I don't want to be offended by him like that! [Phelous] You DON'T want to be offended? "Uh, stay off of Tumblr!" [Movie] That was Anastasia! Oooh, am I an idiot! You suuuuuure aaaaaaaaaaare. [Movie] Do you smell that? It's delicious, mmmmmm! [Same clip] Delicious, mmmmmm! [Same clip slowed down a bit] Delicious MMMMMMMMMMMMMM! [Movie] Perhaps this Boris is not such a bad guy... ...After all, hmm? What do you think? [Phelous] "I think all of this food has been perfectly prepaaaaared." "Fooooor yoooooooouuuuuuu." "Just kidding, it still needs a dash of Wuschel!" [Dingo zap, Dingo "DUNN!!", And Hunchback nun scream] [Movie]...But it was a tame rat, and obviously belonged to the man.
Sasha couldn't really know...That. That could only have been Ras-pu-teen! [Phelous] Ah, it's not "Rasputin" any more, it's "Ras-pu-teen." (Singing to the Rasputin disco song) Ra ra, Ras-pu-teen, lover of the Russian queen, there was a cat who really was gone! [Movie] What is he doing here looking for you-- Rasputin? [Phelous] "I said he's named Ras-pu-teen, you old fart!" "How DARE you interrupt my 'fooor yooooouuuuuu'!" [Movie] It has been told that it is Rasputin who set fire to the tsar's palace. (Gasp!) Ha. Ha.
Ha. Stupid surprised dog. [Phelous] Apparently, everyone just knows that Rasputeen-putin killed the tsar, but doesn't really care. I suppose that might make SOME sense if the revolution was going on, but surprise, surprise, Dingo isn't very clear about this.
[Movie] What is told beyond that is that he wants to kill the tsar's daughter-(clipped off) I don't wanna be killed by Rasputin! (Haltingly) Do something about it, (slight pause) Boris! "I. DON'T. KNOOOOW." ... "WHAT I'M.
SAYING!" [Movie] From now on, we will pursue Rasputeen. Waaht? We just hide ourselves somewhere and wait until Rasputin has passed us! [Same clip edited in] Waaht? [Movie] Then we can eat our borscht at last and drive behind him peacefully! [Last time] Waaht? [Phelous] Unfortunately for old Rasputeen, he was no match for master Boris's plan of "hide in the bushes." He blows past them 'cuz they're invisible, and arrives at the "France" building first. Yeah, the entire country is just inside that house. [Movie] Who are you running fromm-muh!? Run away? That's nonsense! Ooouuut of the way, you stupid fool! What did you say?! You're arrested! REBHRRRIXNARSHGRRJIHDUTBXBRSRGRRDH! DUYVNCLYWIRR! Well said.
[Phelous] Unfortunately, Fance border house arrest is just standing with you outside, and leaving you armed and hoping you just don't do anything. Surprisingly, that doesn't work out, so they have to hold a rifle to the source of all of his power! [Movie] We'll take him away! He won't molest you again, (unclear)! "MOLEST"?!?! DINGO, YOU INCOMPETENT CRETINS! [Movie] (screechy) EEEEEEEEEEEEExcuse me, mademoiselle, [Phelous] Shut up! [Movie] RRDWCFRATRRWRRARBRRDSAJPZRCRRGR!! NEVER get tired of that, though! [Phelous] Oh, nice, I guess they went over to watercolor Notre Dame. Glad it hasn't changed at all in 400 years. WOW, Dingo.
I know I normally give you shit for reusing your character models, but I know you have other cat ones to use, and CLEARLY no one actually wanted to draw a new one for THIS pointless shot! [Movie] So many streets, how can we find the Grand Duchess here? [Phelous] Look in a mirror, you idiot! [Movie] I'm going to that shop! In the shop, they'll certainly know where the Grand Duchess is. Oh, that's stupid! So of course it works. [Phelous] Oh, Olga just lives over on Nice Cats Boulevard. Wabuu's girlfriend even meets them there.
Then we do the "Anastasia proving herself to da granny" scene, but of course in this one, it's like: "I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL." "Here's a pendant!" "OH ANASTASIA! IT'S YOU!" [Movie] HA HA HA HA HA! [Phelous] (imitating The Count) Twenty! Twenty damn Dingo laughs! AH, AH...Ugggghhhh.... [Movie] Unfortunately, I had made a mistake by not touching this girl-- [Quick Sonic PSA interruption] That's no good! [Movie] Only if she's dead can I come to power! "I was thinking of voting Rasputin next election," "but only if he blows up a girl with a bomb!" [Movie] (Anastasia) Stop, Sasha! Stop, Sasha! This is not a ball, this is a bomb! Get off, you stupid beast! Stop! What are you doing there? HELP! OOOOOAAAA-AAAAAUUUUGHAUAUAUAUGGHHH!! YEAH! There WAS a cat who really was gone! Hahahaha... Wow. [Movie] Rah, that was close! (???) [Phelous] Um, so one of Rasputin's cartoon bombs blew up the ENTIRE Winter Palce, or Alexander Palace, or whatever the shit it was supposed to be here, but this time it was just a localized blast that only took out Rasputin's corner of the room? I see no issues with that.
Let's move oooooon. [Phelous] Well, dumbass Dingo Rasputin was a lot easier to take out than the actual guy, and I GUESS I can give Dingo credit for not just completely forgetting about his plot line. [Movie] Boy, were we lucky! You heartless man, how can you say that? Sasha is dead! [Phelous] IS SHE? Oh, no. She just got soot on her.
Rasputin really brought the weenie bomb this time. Then they all set off for America, with PIRATES, 'cuz why not? And Anastasia declares her memory restored! What a solid story this was! I mean, they even tell us it was "FINE" at the end! Ugh, the Anastasia story is a really weird one to ever have become multiple kiddie cartoons like this. It's about a bloody revolution that doesn't have a happy ending, except when you completely change everything about it! But I think we can all agree that the Dingo Pictures adaptation was RRRRGYVRRBHNICRBRUGHRCBURRWHZRGRHXUHRCBVSBHUHRCGUSBRWHARHDRZKERR! RRR. Alright, I'm off to the France building at the Russia-France border! Hoping to meet an alternate design for myself gender-swapped there.
Also, I might get arrested, so I should probably pack a sword. I've also got to have the tunes, because this horse-drawn carriage trip across the ocean's gonna take, like...At least a couple hours. [Outtro music] "Turns out being blown up didn't help Rasputeen in the polls at all!" "He lost to a raccoon now!" "Hee hee hee, I'm the tsar now..." "Or president...Or whatever we're doing.".
- [ All Groan ]
-<i> [ Dimitri ]</i>
<i> WHAT WAS THAT?</I> <i>I DON'T KNOW,</i>
<i>BUT THERE GOES THE DINING CAR.</I> - [ Yapping ]
- GET OFF OF ME. - I'M TRYING.
- OUCH! - UH, DIMITRI?
- WHAT? I THINK SOMEONE HAS FLAMBED... <I> OUR ENGINE.</I> SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
WAIT HERE.
I'LL CHECK IT OUT. [ Groaning ] <i> ANYBODY HERE?</I> - [ Yells ]
- WE'RE GOING WAY TOO FAST. NOBODY'S DRIVING THIS TRAIN.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUMP. DID YOU SAY JUMP? AFTER YOU. FINE. THEN WE'LL
UNCOUPLE THE CAR.
[ Groans ] COME ON!
I NEED A WRENCH, AN AX--
ANYTHING. HERE. [ Yapping ] [ Grunting ] COME ON!
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMETHING IN THERE... BETTER THAN THIS.
THAT'LL WORK. GO! GO! GO! WHAT DO THEY TEACH YOU
IN THOSE ORPHANAGES? [ Chittering ] THE BRAKES ARE OUT!
TURN HARDER! [ Groans ] DON'T WORRY.
WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TRACK.
WE'LL JUST COAST TO A STOP.
- [ All ]
WHOA!
- [ Hissing ] [ All Gasp ] YOU WERE SAYING? I GOT AN IDEA, VLAD.
GIVE ME A HAND
WITH THIS. WHOA! HAND ME THE CHAIN.
NOT YOU! VLAD'S BUSY AT THE MOMENT. <I> [ Screeching ]</i> NO! NO! <I>[ Sharp Crack ]</i> AND TO THINK
THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU.
IF WE LIVE THROUGH THIS,
REMIND ME TO THANK YOU. HERE'S GOES NOTHIN'.
BRACE YOURSELVES. <I> [ Chain Clanking ]</i> [ All ]
WHOA! WELL, THIS
IS OUR STOP.
[ All Yelling ] [ Screeching ] I HATE TRAINS.
REMIND ME NEVER TO GET
ON THE TRAIN AGAIN. .
WAKE UP!
[ Gasps ] [ Panting ]
THE ROMANOV CURSE. THE ROMANOV WHAT?
CURSE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I KEEP SEEING FACES--
SO MANY FACES. IT WAS A NIGHTMARE.
