--You really feel that in your heart? Well the word pieces is pieces not pee-cees
[laughs] --But my dad spells his name... I'm trying
to get you in the frame.
Okay, my dad spells his name
R-e-i-c-e --A Reese's cup or a ree-sees cup?
-A Reese's cup. Rees's cup. Like a Reese's. It's Reese's cup.
It's his cup.
--Wouldn't you think it's Reese's pieces then? I feel like most people say Reese's Pee-cess
--But I feel like most people say Reese's pieces but also because Reese's is spelled
weird. Isn't there like two E's in it? R-e-e-s-e-s
You know? --Maybe you're right how your dad spells it.
--Maybe my dad spells it weird. If I have kids one day I'm going to name one
of them Reese. --And then the middle name pieces?
--Yeah.
It'll be the name will be Reese, piece Whatever the last name is!
Altomare. Name myself.
I mean my last name. Hi! Hi! I'm Broadway's John Bolton. Welcome to the home love family, very special
Christmas edition of Royal Misfits.
Come on in out of the cold.
As we read the holidays Anastasia. Copyright 2017.
C. Altomare. Twas the night before Anastasia,
and all through the Broadhurst, Many actors were stirring
in preparation for the holidays --[singing] Holiday time is coming.
--What's
your favorite Christmas carol --Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
-- I always love a nice jazzy rendition of Sleigh Ride
--Aww. --Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cosy are we
I'd have to say Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cause he's a, I don't know, I really like
him because he's a good guy.
--He's a good guy! --What's your favorite thing to do in the
holidays? --Eat?
--Ooooh. Cookies.
I like to go skating. What do you like to do?
--Christmas time, especially for my family is just kind of, we don't do a whole lot.
My dad works a lot during the Holidays and I don't really like
to talk about it.
--Oh, sorry.
--Two more days for the toy drive. --Toy drive. This is your last chance.
--Get toys in advance! --In advance!
--Yeah, Ernie! But, Derek, growing up in California, did
you always wish that you had like a traditional snowy whit e
Christmas --A lot of people don't i grew up, or I was
born up north, just north. --Like Washington?
--Uhh, higher.
I moved to California, go to the public school
systems, where I was born they didn't really have
that sort of thing, so --I grew up in Rochester, NY, but you know
what I never believed in Santa Claus, like I never saw
how it was possible. --But didn't you get toys every year?
--Things like underwear and socks were from Santa.
--Maybe he thought that those were the things that you actually needed. Like,
--Yeah, you probably needed some --I needed --He was probably just thinking of your best
interests. --Oh, was he? --I've gotten socks and underwear
from Santa.
--Santa Claus is coming Oooh Kris Kringle!
--You know, funny thing about Kris Kringle is his actual name is Ivan. Ivan Kringle.
You guys ever heard that before? --Ivan Kringle? --No.
--If you look it up, like under Christmas in the encyclopedia. A lot of people just
don't know about it, but yeah look it up. --So, Secret Santa!
--Secret Santa! --Happy Holidays!
--Favorite thing to do for Christmas, Alysha.
--
--I guess, Get the Christmas tree ready. --I got some really awesome fans, and they
came together and wrote me little messages each one with a little piece of candy inside.
This is the advent calendar. --Oh, that!
--It's in a box. --Candy!
--Excited! I was listening to Christmas music all day.
--What's your favorite Christmas song? --All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey!
--Nice.
--Cute.
--Ah! What the heck!
--Really loud, you guys. --The one scream she did was loud.
--Guys, I just got my very first secret Santa Gift.
--What is it? --I don't know! It's an Elf on the Shelf!
Christmas tradition. --Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my gosh she's so cute. --Look at him!
--Oh, I have the perfect, perfect spot for him
--So, guys, are we going to make that gingerbread house?
--Everything is always crazy with Secret Santa.
It is off the chart. I mean, people are popping
out of things in boxes wearing hats. --Hi! Hi, everyone!
--Secret Santa! So did anybody get anything special for--
what is that? --I don't know but somebody who knows me very
very well. What is that? --It's a bullseye game!
--Do you have any idea who your Secret Santa might be?
--I don't know.
--Jenna. --Janette. Could it be you?
--Oohh! --I got mad libs.
--A little box of wine. --Aww.
Yay!
Oh, my gosh! Look at that! Let's see how John is doing.
--John! --Hey, Christy! --How's it going? --Good.
--How is your secret Santa coming along? It's fine.
--Did you get anything fun? --Well it's weird. Like, I came in and this
was here today. And it's literally like
it's a dollar2-4-6- $1.08. --It's maybe a clue.
Maybe it means something.
It's like 108 10-8?
$1.08, 108. 108Th Street? Maybe it's like a nice restaurant
on 108th Street? --I got this this morning.
--Oh, that's nice a nice little pack of gum. --Yeah, first of all I don't even chew gum,
but look there's some taken out of it already. --I'm so sorry.
$1.08 And a used pack of gum.
--Yeah
--We're at playtime and Julia is Jewish and she is teaching us
how to play Dreidel. But for right now we are practicing our spinning
--Spinning! Was creepy Anya always there? --Where?
--Up there. -- --How are you doing? Are you excited for the
secret Santa? --Of course. --It's a very exciting time.
--Hey, Derek! --Hello! I got a Secret Santa gift I guess.
--No, what did you get? --What?
--Is that? --John! John, look what I got for Secret Santa!
--Beats headphones 3! These are awesome they're wireless.
--Beats headphones? I got half a pack of gum and $1.08.
--$1.08? What do you --I think it means something.
--This is awesome. This is so nice of them.
They must have spent at least a couple hundred dollars on this. $2-300
Maybe. --I'm almost on.
I have to go. --Where did the Elf on the Shelf go?
--What? --It's in the trash. [Gasps]
--Ew! --Okay.
--Hey, did you guys try these Polish candies? --Wait, North Polish candies?
Oh, my gosh the Elves go nuts for these back -- --Polish candies
--Right. Ummm.
Poland.
Totally. --Says here Derek's parents are here.
--Hmm. --Irving? That's his dad's name? Irving?
--Yeah, actually I heard that Derek dad can't make it.
--Oh, Irving [laughs] --Oh, guys this is so great, It looks awesome.
--Yay! --I love it --Great job guys.
Looks good enough to eat. --What are you guys doing? What is that?
--We decided to make Santa's house.
--That's Santa's house?
--Yeah, it's made out of gingerbread. It's cute.
--What are those nerds on the roof? --Yeah.
--Colorful santa --That's That's weird because Santa's house has pop
rocks on the roof, not Nerds.So, you need to change that if you're going to
--Derek they're kids. --Derek how would you know what's in Santa's
house. --I don't want to talk about it.
Anyway you guys have a good Act Two.
--What was that? --What was that it's a cute
gingerbread house. --Princess, princess, princess time!
--It's not possible. --Ivan.
--Kringle. --Ivan Kringle.
[Panting] [gasps]
--It's not possible.
--It's not possible!
--Christy! --Christy!
--You guys decorated so beautifully! --Woah.
--And look at your tree! --Christy,
You're never gonna believe this. And I can't even believe I'm about to say
this! --Are you okay? --What happened? --Derek's father
is Santa! Irving Klena, it's an anagram of Ivan Kringle.
It's a perfect Anagram. I did the tiles just like in Rosemary's Baby!
I know it sounds insane. I know it sounds insane, but the thing with the house, and
his mom, and the thing about living up north and his
father works during the holidays! His father is Santa!
--My father was a banker in Upstate New York, Derek's father is Santa!
Oh, boy! How does he win? He wins everything! --Santa Claus
Derek's dad is Santa Claus? --The clues are there.
It's Ivan Kringle is
Santa Clause. --And he'll retire.
And leave it to his son. And Derek Klena is going to be Santa Claus!
--It's okay. You know?
--I'm sorry.
--I guess it took me all these years to believe in Santa
Claus. --This whole Christmas thing. I just have
no Christmas spirit whatsoever! And I'm like. --And your secret santa hasn't
been getting you --Thank you secret Santa!
--I gotta go put on a beard and a fat suit And be jolly opposite the son of Santa!
--Have a good show.
[Tamborine]
--It's Lily's joke of the day! [Gasp] --What do you call a a child who doesn't believe
in Santa? --I don't know! What do you call a child who
doesn't believe in Santa? --A rebel without a Claus.
[Laughs] --What do you call a poor Santa?
--I don't know. What do you call a poor Santa? --Saint Nickel-less.
--Nickel-less. Oh, just forget it. --Mistletoe! --You know what that means? No, no, spitty...
Kissy!
--Kissy! --Happy!
--You can take this around and kiss everybody --Maybe closer to a horse.
--Niegh! --161 Dollars--Sheena! --Max von Essen!
--Hi! --Are you so excited to be here? We are so happy to have you. You're so wonderful in this show. --I love it here. I'm making myself at home.
I don't know who my secret santa is.
--Have you gotten anything? --Yes. I got one thing. Sweedish fish. Which is my favorite candy.
So, someone knows me, someone is giving hints. --I heard that you put a ton of money into dollar Friday today.
-- Yes in celebration of my first weekend. --That's really fun. That was so nice.
Nice visiting you Max von Essen! --It's Lily's joke of the day! With the lovely Mary Beth Piel. Now
you're never gonna get this. --All right.
--What do you call someone who's afraid of
Santa? [Music]
A....Claustrophobic! --Ahhhh! --Is it about time I. Have to go on stage.
--It is.
--Alright I've gotta go get my blue shoes. --Hey Christy.
--Was creepy Anya there? --Where where's she?
--She's on the couch, oh my, creepy Anya, No! --Guys, this is
getting out of hand. --You're never gonna get this one.
Why was Santa's helper so unhappy? --Really easy.
--Oh, come on. --He didn't have any Elf-esteem. --Ha!
--Didn't have any elf-esteem! --Got it? [Music] --Hey D.
--Hey what's up? Yeah yeah of course.
What's going on? --Look, my dad was a Navy man who ran a series of small banks in upstate New
York. He enjoyed playing tennis and he coached Little League and he collected
empty clocks and watches. That sounds like an awesome dad. What why are you telling me this? --Tell me about your dad, Derek.
--What about him? --Oh I don't know.
Just, What does he do?
What does he do? --Boy, he's a he's a traveling salesman. --Ah.
--Especially during the holidays he's gone a lot. --And he's based out of...Where? --Southern California, where I yeah.
Spent my adolescence.
-- After you moved from up north. --Yeah.
-- Does he look good in red, does he? --Yeah, he does, like he does like they color red. --Mmm-hmm.
-- I'm sorry why you're asking? ---Does he have a big hearty laugh? Ho-ho-ho! --I'm sorry I...
--Is your dad santa Claus? Is your dad Santa Claus!?
--What? Are you crazy. No --No I'm not crazy!
--No, my dad's not Santa --Derek.
--Claus.
--Derek I figured it out. Your
dad is Santa --John! How how could my dad how could my dad be Santa? My mom just texted me. --What does she want? --Don't worry about it. --No, take it take it let's see.
No
I want to see your mom. --Okay. [Woman humming Jingle Bells] --Hi, Derek! This is mom. I just wanna make sure you got all the gifts Dad sent you.
He's been so busy at the North Pole getting ready for the the big day. But
it means a lot to us that you get everything your heart desires. We miss you. And we sure wish we could see you, even Rudolph nose is beginning to dim a bit.
But, we love you and wanted to wish you the happiest of holidays to you and everyone at Anastasia. --So about my dad. Okay, he's Santa Claus. --Why didn't you tell me!? --I'm sorry! It's you know it's it's a big family secret and obviously he's got one
of the biggest jobs in the world! Toys to everybody in the
world and it it is my destiny to be Santa someday, and I had to keep that a
secret.
I'm sorry. --I mean I would never see a word you're gonna be-- that's amazing! Santa! --Hopefully.
--You could have told me. --I'm sorry I just it's it was important my family and you know
that you're one of my best friends and and I I didn't mean to hold something
like that from you, but I just hope that you forgive me and understand. --I understand, and it's cool.
It's cool, you know, it's just, it's really cool, but
I just I'm just gonna need a little time. Okay.
-- Sorry I just gotta process. --I understand.
-- I'm sorry, John. I mean it's Santa Claus.
-- It Santa Claus! --It is.
It is St. Nick! --It's a big responsibility.
--I'm just saying. I'm good just need a little time.
--Okay. --Come in!
--I have some bad news. --What?
--I think creepy Anya wants to run away.
--Where did you find her?
--I found her walking out the door.
--This isn't good you guys.
--What do we do? --I'm gonna put you in the best place you could ever be in my room. Right here. Merry Christmas.
--You gotta pull really fast. We're ready, everybody we're doing our annual holiday poppers.
--On the count of three. --One, two, three!
[All screem] --Happy holidays! --Whooo! --I'll be there.
I'll be right there. --What's this? To John from S.S. Dear John, has been really great
being your Secret Santa and for your last gift, I wanted to get you the
greatest gift of all: Christmas spirit. Nicole are you my Secret Santa? Thank you.
Thank you for the Christmas spirit.
Thank you Nicole. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Oh my Santa! I got a drone! --[Laughs] [music] I want to see that drone!
[Music] --[Singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas] --Guys, thank you. Thank you! Mwah! Bye! [Music] --So, like are you gonna be him some day? --Yeah it's it's a process but it's like...
--Santa training.
--A test? --It's like a Santa training. You have to put on some weight.
--Well yeah! --And the facial hair thing might be a problem, but they have ways with fixing it. --I'll give you my Vlad beard.
--Does that mean we get to be on the the
nice list? --I mean, yeah. You guys are all on the nice list. Come on.
-- Hey friends in high places. Friends in high places.
--Yeah yeah more socks and
underwear! --Oh yeah. --Have a good show!
-- Thanks for the candy, Derek --My dad, so.
--Hey, that's so cool. Merry Christmas.
-- Merry Christmas.
--Merry Christmas --Oh my god! [Music].
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